1. It is impossible to avoid Fast-food, be smart.
2. You’re going to eat a lot of Fast-food, practice variety.
(I like Ian’s advice from I The Mighty.. STAY AWAY FROM FAST-FOOD… Try and eat Subway or something)
(Ian… Isn’t that still fast food?)
3. Find popular hangout before your show… invite those people to come!!!
(It will increase the cool kid count)
4. Free WIFI is amazing when on tour.
(If you’re going to tour a lot… pay for tethering access for your phone.)
5. It’s hard to find a shower, but you can brush your teeth anywhere.
6. Your facial hair will grow… shave in restaurant bathrooms, gas station bathroom and the venue.
7. Wet-wipes make for amazing showers, and if you bring them… use them!!!
(BUM SHOWER, HO SHOWER, YOUR SHOWER…)
8. Beware of chap lips, bring ChapStick, Carmex, Lip Balm.
(The air is drying outside San Francisco)
9. Eat your healthy food before it goes bad.
(Why bring it if you’re going to throw it away?)
10. Pack lots of socks and underwear… AND CHANGE THEM!!!
(Why pack them if you’re not going to change them?)
11. Make a checklist, don’t forget things at venue and houses.
12. Bring something to entertain yourself in the car.
(Books on tape are a great way to stay entertained in the car.)
(I rented 2 movies from a Red Box)
13. You’re going to sleep in the van, bring pillows and blankets.
(Sleeping in the car is cold.)
14. Bring a sleeping bag pad.
(Sleeping on hard floors is… hard!!!)
15. Collect and send post-cards to loved ones.
(Shockingly… some people are going to miss you!)
16. Don’t fart in the van, if you fart in the van I’m going to hit you, If you fart, claim it…. I know it was you!!!
17. Want to feel refreshed after playing a show and sleeping in a car? Drink less beer at the gig. I know it’s free, that doesn’t mean you gotta drink it all.
18. Want to make more money? Stop buying bottles of liqueur and sneaking them in the show.
(Though in truth you are saving money by not buying from the bar?!)
19. Keep track of what you’re owed. That’s your responsibility. Do not let the promoter talk you out of the guarantee. If there were not enough people at the show… it’s their fault!!!
20. Touring makes everyone crazy… Remember, moods pass!!!
21. & finally… The guest-list is for friends, family & people you might want to hook up with.
(Everyone else can pay.)
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